


*Bleep* Me

by simplytheschittiest



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, no plot here no plot there. there is no plot here anywhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 08:37:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19884748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplytheschittiest/pseuds/simplytheschittiest
Summary: David sets the dry dish down on the counter. He decides in that moment that if Patrick needs a reason to say ‘fuck’ then he’s going to give him one.





	*Bleep* Me

* * *

David stands behind the cash counter at Rose Apothecary—back firmly planted on the white subway tile that covers the entirety of the wall. He’s one, maybe two, steps away from slipping behind the curtain and into their private office to eat the lunches Patrick has just picked up.

Unfortunately, he won’t make it that far, because mere seconds after flipping the sign on the door from ‘open’ to ‘closed’, Patrick sets their lunch down and lowers himself to his knees behind the cash.

“We’re closed for lunch, Patrick. I thought we might eat?” David’s voice is low and uneven as he finds himself involuntarily bucking his hips into Patrick’s mouth.

“What do you think I’m doing?” Patrick’s lips twist into a mischievous grin around the head of David’s cock.

David’s thoughts dart to his potato salad. He briefly mourns the loss of eating it fresh, while it’s still cold, before deciding to surrender to the sensation of Patrick’s messy, and rather unprofessional, blowjob. He plants his hands securely on Patrick’s shoulders because he definitely doesn’t trust his legs right now. _Fuck, he gets better at this every day._

Patrick licks up and down David’s shaft. He hooks one arm around David’s thigh, to steady himself, and uses the other to reach around and circle his hole. He runs his finger around it teasingly as he takes David deeper in his mouth.

David feels himself hit the back of Patrick’s throat. He slides his hands up his neck and they land on the top of his head. It’s taking everything he has to not grab on tight and just fuck the hell out of his sweet face. He looks down and catches Patrick’s eyes.

Patrick looks up longingly through his soft lashes before delivering David a small wink.

It’s all the permission David needs. He grabs Patrick’s head and thrusts in and out of him with reckless abandon. He doesn’t ever want to stop but he knows he’s getting close. He reaches down to squeeze Patrick’s shoulder. It’s a completely unnecessary gesture but a habit nonetheless.

He throws his head back and—“FUCK.”

A vibrating sensation overcomes his entire body. “Fuck fuck fuck. Jesus FUCKING fuck.”

He explodes into Patrick’s mouth as he rides out the final wave of euphoria. He leans back against the wall, eyes closed, and attempts to regain his composure.

After a second, he opens his eyes and looks down to Patrick, still on his knees in front of him.

A tiny drip of come hangs from his open lips. His eyes are wide and his pale cheeks are flush with color. He wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his sweater before standing up and smoothing the front of his jeans. He tilts his head slightly and raises his eyebrows quizzically in David’s direction.

David tucks himself back into his briefs and jeans. A little embarrassed, he avoids returning Patrick’s gaze. “What?”

“That good, huh?” Patrick laughs quietly and leans up to kiss his cheek.

David looks at him with narrow eyes. “I mean, yeah. But what are you getting at?”

“You must have said…fu—“ He stops himself midsentence and starts again. “You just have such a colorful vocabulary, David.”

David looks at him deadpan. “You’re kidding, right? I just fucked your face in broad daylight, in our place of business, and you can’t even say ‘fuck’?”

“I can say it.” Patrick’s flushed cheeks darken.

David raises an eyebrow—challenging him. “Then say it. Say it right now.”

Patrick rolls his eyes. “I think you’ve said it enough for us both today.”

He snatches the bag containing their lunch from the cash counter. He pushes the curtain to one side and heads into the office. “Are you coming or what? We have to open back up in 20 minutes.”

//

They stand in silence at the kitchen sink of the apartment, working together to finish the dishes from dinner. Patrick gives a plate a final rinse and hands it to David.

David mindlessly dries the plate. He thinks about how, prior to meeting Patrick, he would have never imagined that doing the dishes could be arousing. And now, standing here with him, he feels so inexplicably turned on. He watches as Patrick holds a delicate glass in his hands and caresses it with a soapy sponge in slow circular motions. David feels his jeans tighten as his cock responds to his arousal. _Does he have any fucking idea what he’s doing?_ David isn’t sure. Sometimes Patrick can be so oblivious to how goddamn sexy he is. And then again, sometimes he can be a total fucking tease.

Patrick clears his throat abruptly. “I _can_ say it, you know.”

The sudden declaration rattles David from his own thoughts. “You can say what?”

“ _It.”_

It takes David a second but he catches on. He smiles from the side of his mouth and nods in Patrick’s direction. “Mhm. Of course.”

“David, I can. I just haven’t had a reason to.” His lips curl into a tiny, almost undetectable, smile and mischief radiates through his dark brown eyes. It’s subtle. If David didn’t keep a running mental catalog of all of the nuances of Patrick’s expressions, he might have missed it himself.

David sets the dry dish down on the counter. He decides in that moment that if Patrick needs a reason to say ‘fuck’ then he’s going to give him one.

He turns to Patrick and pulls the soapy glass out of his hands and sets it down in the sink.

“David, that’s the dirty water. What are you—“ Patrick’s complaint is cut off by a heated kiss.

David’s tongue probes his mouth and pushes in deeper as he kisses him with total and complete desperation. He grabs him by the back of his neck and turns their bodies, pinning Patrick between himself and the counter. He slides his hands down Patrick’s torso and lands on his hips. With a small grunt of effort, he lifts the smaller framed man and sets him down on the counter.

Patrick wraps his legs around David and pulls him closer. He relishes at how easily David had picked him up. Though they’d been together awhile, he was still getting used to being—for lack of a better word—manhandled. _God I hope I never get used to this._ He kisses David all over, nipping at his earlobes and sucking on his stubbled neck.

David pulls back from their kiss just long enough to scramble out of his sweater and to pull Patrick’s t-shirt over his head. He slides his hands under Patrick’s ass and lifts him from the counter. He carries him, his legs still wrapped around David’s waist, to the bed before tossing him down and diving for the button fly of his tight jeans.

Patrick lies back on the bed. His heather-gray briefs are wet with pre-cum and he can’t get out of them fast enough. He strokes himself slowly as he watches David free himself from the rest of his clothes. He motions to David as if to say, ‘come here.’

David crawls up his legs and settles on his hips. “What’s your pleasure tonight, Brewer?” _Say you want to fuck me. Say you want to fuck me._

Patrick doesn’t say a word. Instead, he leisurely reaches for a condom and tears it open with his teeth. He rolls it down onto his fully erect cock and raises his brows at David. _Your move._

David directs most of his weight into his forearms as he presses into Patrick’s chest. He whispers hot and wet in his mouth. “Say it. Say that you want to _fuck_ me.”

A smile slowly curls across Patrick’s mouth and David knows that he’s not going to say it. He’s far too stubborn and hasn’t had nearly enough fun torturing him yet. “No, David. You say that you want me to, uh, _fuuu…_ fulfill you.” He says the words casually. As if he isn’t about to explode like a shaken pop can.

David throws his head back and rolls his eyes. _God he’s an asshole._ For a second, David considers rolling off of him and taking care of himself. But then he catches another glimpse of Patrick’s playful smile and suddenly he’d rather die than go another second without feeling his dick inside of him.

//

The apartment is dark, save for the low glow of their phones charging on the bedside table. Patrick awakens to a warm, wet, sensation on his groin. Confused and aroused, he reaches down to touch himself, but instead finds a head of thick, messy, hair resting between his open thighs. “—David?”

David pops off his cock and looks up at him with brows raised. “Were you expecting someone else?”

Patrick laughs. “No. My other boyfriend and I usually wait until after you’ve left the apartment.”

“That’s not funny.”

Patrick ignores him and pushes his head back down.

David gets right back to work. His cheeks hollow as he pulls Patrick deeper into his mouth. He knows what Patrick likes: the suction and the pull. He wants to feel the suction of David’s tight mouth pulling him from base to tip.

Patrick squeezes his shoulder, digging his short nails into David’s flesh.

David sets back on his knees and slaps Patrick on the side of his thigh. “Turn over.”

“David. I’m close.”

“Flip the fuck over.”

Patrick complies and turns over onto his stomach. He grinds his hips into the mattress and complains silently about the loss of contact.

David quickly moistens his finger in his mouth before sticking it inside of Patrick. He slowly works him open before sliding in another wet finger. And then another.

Patrick writhes around his curled fingers, desperate for deeper penetration.

David quickly pulls his fingers out and slips a condom on. He grabs Patrick by the hips and lifts his ass into the air, letting his weight rest on his calves and forearms. He squirts on a little lube for good measure and then lines himself up. He circles the hole again, playfully, with his index finger before delivering another smack to Patrick’s thigh.

“Tell me you want it, Brewer.”

Patrick bites down on his swollen lip. “ _I want it._ ”

“Tell me you need it.”

“ _I need it._ ”

Finally, David thrusts his hips into him. He moves slowly. He leans forward to get closer to Patrick’s ear. He whispers, his breath hot on Patrick’s skin. “Now tell me. _How_ do you want it?”

Patrick’s voice is low and hoarse. “Harder.”

“What was that?” David smirks to himself. He knows exactly how Patrick wants it but he’ll be damned if he’s going to give up so easily again.

Patrick rocks forwards and backwards, slapping himself against David with each backwards thrust.

David licks his hand and slaps Patrick’s hip. “Use your fucking words.”

The sting of the wet slap sends Patrick over the edge. “Damn it, David. Give it to me harder. Faster. I want you so deep that you find my goddamn colon.”

David’s eyes widen and his mouth twists into a lop-sided grin as he listens to the filth starting to roll out of Patrick’s mouth. _Finally, we’re getting somewhere. A little awkward, sure, but a solid start regardless._

He grabs him by the hips and thrusts in and out of him—hard and fast—just as requested.

“Oh God, David. Fuck me. Fuck. Me.” Patrick bellows out into the otherwise silent bedroom.

 _And there it is._ David feels the wave of his orgasm rippling through his entire body.

He reaches around and takes Patrick’s cock. It takes no more than three strokes before he’s coming into David’s hand.

Patrick flops down into the mattress. Spent. Wrecked. He moans into the pillow. “Holy fuck, David.”

David drops his torso and rests his weight on Patrick’s strong back. He kisses leisurely at the sweaty skin. “What was that, Brewer? I can’t hear you.”

Patrick turns his head to the side, no longer muffling his words with the pillow. “I said... _Holy fuck, David._ ”

David brushes his lips against his ear before dropping a light kiss onto his temple. “That’s what I thought you said.”


End file.
